Home
by cutiesonthehorizon
Summary: A little missing scene for Trip to Stabby Town, or what was on Lucifer's mind after dear mother and Amenadiel left the building.


**Home**

It was strange when Lucifer became the one member of his family who started accepting his father's will and who had at least some grasp about life on earth. Even more, Lucifer was starting to like God's creations, those pesky humans. Something was wrong with the world, or maybe the world was okay, it was just heaven and hell that were on the brink of chaos. Lucifer, his blood still boiling as he was trying to control the anger towards his mother and brother, slowly put down the sword. He didn't notice the sparkle or the strange tingle in his hand. All he could think about was that his family was once again conspiring around him and last time something like that happened, he ended up in hell. True, he was the one running the joint, but still.

'Why are they even surprised?' Lucifer thought to himself. What was so strange about the notion that he liked earth and its occupants? Just thinking logically, it was the best solution. Heaven was... for lack of better words... boring. Angels tended to act like dicks with a broom stuck up their... well. Most of the time at least. And they were doing everything their father told them, without question, without care to what purpose their action served. It was faith, but it was blind faith and Lucifer couldn't take it. He needed something else, something more. So he dared to do what no one else did... he stood and defied his father. It was as if the heaven froze. All his brothers and sisters stopped and looked at him as if he was some kind of abomination. How could he do that, how could he defy their creator, their father?

There was curiosity in their eyes, but mostly there was disbelief and maybe even some jealousy. Lucifer didn't know, didn't have time to ponder it, not then. Then he had to survive his father's wrath and believe him, when God got mad at you, it was bad.

Lucifer headed for the cabinet and poured himself another drink, his hands shaking at the mere thought about the moment he was cast out of heaven and into hell. He could still feel the ripping pain of his wings being cut off and the fall... it was bad. The landing was much worse, but he survived. No, it weren't the physical effects that bothered him. He might've been bruised and bleeding on the outside, but truly, he was broken inside.

Because his family didn't step in, didn't raise a finger. When God got mad, no one protested. And that really hurt. More than the loss of his wings or the fall, more than the landing ever could. It was the loneliness, the shame and the anger he had to contend with for the following centuries. Funny thing was, hell wasn't such an awful place, not after he found Maze and she pledged herself to be by his side, to protect him. It almost felt like having a family... almost. The demons listened to him, they wanted to please him and that felt... better.

Until one day someone else was cast out of heaven and Lucifer felt lost once again. His mother was lying before him, broken and beaten, pleading for his mercy, but all he could think of was how all the angels stood and watched God swipe him down, as if he was just a fly, and not one of them, not even his mother, dared to protest. How he tried to call for them, year after year, to talk, to see a familiar face, yet not one of them found the courage or the will to answer.

When his mother looked up at him pleadingly, he did what he thought was right, the only thing that he could do. He turned away and let Maze take care of everything. He didn't have a family, not anymore. He was alone.

Time passed and Lucifer kept his watch over the world, over all the pain and suffering on the surface. There were holy crusades and he laughed in the face of those who killed in name of his father.

"Where is your god now, who were you killing for?" he asked all those that came to him and there were many.

"Was it worth it? Did he even speak to you?"

The crusades passed but the people kept coming, and there were more and more of them. They spoke of wars and disease; they spoke of years filled with famine and torture. Humanity seemed to be getting the worst end of the deal and Lucifer was starting to worry that at this rate, hell would be getting just a bit crowded. He was also getting curious, because how could his father allow this? His precious creations were killing themselves off at an alarming rate; the world was turning into chaos. Where was the mighty God when his children needed help, a guiding hand?

Lucifer had to snort at that thought. That was free will for you, obviously. You want to do what you want to do, you defy your father's wishes, He will cast you out and wash his hands off of you. Easy as that.

The turning point for Lucifer was when those people coming to him didn't blame God for all their suffering, for the things they did wrong. No. Who they blamed was Lucifer. The killers spoke about demons and devils making them murder and rape, about Lucifer himself possessing their useless bodies and doing those deeds. And Lucifer thought that was unfair. Why was he, once the bearer of light, being blamed for all the humanity's worst, while it was his father who created people? It was he who allowed wars and death. Why should Lucifer spend the rest of eternity - and it was turning out to be quite a long time - in this hell hole, in the company of the worst humanity had to offer? He wanted to see if there was any good up there, anything worth his father's pride. Maybe, once he studied those miniscule people in their natural environment, he might understand.

He might finally understand who his father was and what was the purpose, the sense of it all. Maybe, just maybe, he could also find something good in humanity, and in turn, in himself. So he left hell, taking only Maze as his trusted friend (family?). The devil was taking vacation and he was having a hell of a time of it too. Until one day he met a woman that was immune to his charm. A woman that made him vulnerable, that made him open his eyes. Then his brother popped up, said hello from their father and tried to take him back to hell. But by that time, Lucifer found he didn't care for his father's wishes anymore, didn't care for hell. He had a strange feeling in his chest and each time that woman smiled at him or incomprehensibly fought off his charm, he felt more and more rooted to the surface. Dare he say, he almost felt home.

But things could never be so simple, could they? Because Chloe was dying and Lucifer did something stupid. He made a deal. And as laughable as that sounded, making a deal with God wasn't any better than making a deal with the Devil himself. Both wanted their payment.

And then came dear mother and suddenly nothing made sense. His father was the most powerful being in existence, yet he couldn't keep her in hell. But why would he ask Lucifer to take her back there? There was some plan being played out, a higher will if you want, and Lucifer didn't like it. He was fed up with being someone's tool, with being his father's puppet. That was the main reason he lost his wings after all.

Until now he thought that all he had to worry about was his father. The realization that his mother and brother were also playing their own game... it made the anger inside him grow and he wasn't even holding the sword anymore. The whiskey glass shattered and Lucifer let the shards fall to the floor, ignoring the flecks of blood that quickly dried up on his unblemished skin.

Everyone around him was playing some game while all he wanted was to be left alone. He didn't care for his mother's wish to put the family back together. He accepted a long time ago that he could never return to heaven and as he said, it didn't ever feel like home anyway. What he was looking for he found here, on earth. It was humanity, with all it had to offer, be it good or bad. This was life and eternity couldn't compare, not in a place like heaven or hell. When his mother asked if this was his home, he said yes and in that moment he realized it was the truth and he wanted it to stay that way, come hell or high water.

Lucifer touched the blade and felt the light tingle course from his fingers right to his heart. He curled his hand around the handle and looked up, past the ceiling, right at the sky where his father dwelled.

This was his home. And he shall protect it.

 **The End**


End file.
